Sad is the best I can explain how I felt when I received a fridge magnet that said ‘ please let my friends be fat’ over the head of a roundish kitten. The giver said she gave it to me because the kitten was so cute, but I felt nothing but empty, as there seemed to be a pointed finger involved somehow.
Lifestyle change: SAD – ‘Sorely Aware and Disengaged’
Sorely aware that the perception was that I was of less value due to size, and sorely aware that this size issue was not viewed as enviable. Disengaged as I regarded the size issue as ‘B-S’. I had a full-on career job (with a 3 hour commute), a responsible position supporting humanitarians worldwide, and a husband ‘who loved me for me’. All well and good… Or was it?
I was burning my life from both ends and wasn’t aware. It certainly was not the size issue that bothered me, nor the perception of others so much. What did bother me was how I felt. I could not walk up the stairs without turning red, sweating, and could no longer find fun in anything. My energy was zapped to total zero – and I had no defences left in me to feed into life.
Work was everything, and as it was for a full-on emergency humanitarian organisation the ‘Do good’ feeling was there – I was giving my all to those that deserved it the most! Little by little however, I became MAD….
Lifestyle change: MAD – Most Alert and Decisive
As the health issues were creeping upon me, I realised that something had to give – but needed to find a why and a how. I questioned the actual ‘why’ – as the whole issue seemed to revolve around loosing weight.
I had never seen the actual weight as a problem per se. I had a nice wardrobe, knew how to make myself look good, and generally this was never something I thought about much. I was very fed up with the feeling of not having energy anymore, of being disconnected from anything that did not involve work. But – diets and fitness fads were never my thing – ever.
Also – if I was fine with how I looked, why should other people bother? I wasn’t bothered – or was I? During a duty travel I read an article about ‘Super foods‘ and something went off in my head. The relationship between what you eat and how you feel was explained. I knew about this, but it had been buried under the paperwork of my job, and how ‘busy’ I was.
The excuses were so many, that the child in me was no longer allowed to come out and play. As a child I was brought up on whole grains, Carrot Quiche, and porridge – and my mother considered that a moderate stroll would be around 10 km. The article made me curious, and I bought the book ‘Super foods & Health style‘ by Dr Steven Pratt on Amazon.
My focus now moved from ‘why’ to ‘how’ and many more books and magazines were devoured. The real sense of what I should do became crystal clear. I needed to feel good again, and to be able to do good, I needed to be good to myself. Wellness rather than diet became my goal. Wellness rather than a fitness fad. Wellness rather than a life that is burnt from both ends.
“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of” Bruce Lee
Have you ever felt SAD or MAD? Do you need a ‘why’ or a ‘how’ to consider a lifestyle change?
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