Defying Gravity is your Force when Health or Life hits hard. You get apocalyptic news, and contrary to all instincts you leap into New Empowerment, a New You and Way of Life. Even from the Dark side of the Moon, the light shines on – and you choose to take control over what you can. ‘Until you try, you will never know’, as Elphaba sings in ‘Defying Gravity’ from the Musical Wicked:
Defying Gravity: Finding a Life Force in Darkness
Gravity refers to the force which attracts a body toward the centre of the earth, or even toward any other physical body with mass. Gravity also refers to great or alarming importance in other words, seriousness.
The images in this post are from our Galaxy. Space is said to be lonely, cold and very dark place. Symbolic of how you can feel when you get hit hard by life events. Space is also an utterly beautiful combination of hope and brave new worlds and beginnings. Which illustrate how living through difficult life events can be like, when you find a way to steer through. Defying gravity is just that. You take control over what you can.
Defying Gravity: Taking control over what you can
Defying gravity is to courageously confront all logic, and oppositional forces. To boldly go into unknown worlds. It means to leap into thin air, spread your wings — and fly. You get grave news, and contrary to all instincts you take control over what you can:
- You find a routine in the chaos;
- You choose to eat and drink healthily;
- You exercise gently;
- You find time to think and reflect;
- You find solace in the small moments, and make plans;
- You rest, and let your mind get still – and sleep better.
You find yourself in the midst of a dark galactic storm. Like a Pilot who sets off solo for the first time — you take a deep breath, find a flight pattern, take the controls and steer your personal space ship to find light, hope and something to hold on to. Even when the most apocalyptic news hits, you can find New empowerment, a New You and Way of life. A health and life Force that will be with you to “Live Long and Prosper”
Defying Gravity: Facing Apocalyptic Life Events that start with ‘D’
Death, Divorce, Disease. All words starting with D. You have no option, but to dive right in and deal with it. Rather than to drown, and ‘be dealt with’ you can defy all logic by making changes that give you strength. A Force to live by.
It seems hard advice to give. Having lived through loss; experienced close family members struggle with chronic illness; and counselled many through the painful process of break up – I know that you can find a rhythm, a routine, a healthier you – even in the darkest of moments. You feel, you deal and you heal. It is the little things that you can control that keeps you ‘sane’ – and ultimately also ‘save’ you.
Defying Gravity: Death
Few things are as difficult as the passing of a loved one. You have no way of knowing how you will react – and even if you will react straight away. The incomprehensible thought that you will never hear the voice, look into the eyes, or hold the hand of your loved one is so big that you cannot compute. No one can tell you what to do. There is no single recipe for how you will be able to cope. There are resources you can turn to:
- Help with Grief – Information and Support Website (Dr Mary-Ann Sontag Bowman, Ph.D., LCSW )
- Grief: Coping with loss of your loved one – American Psychological Association
- Coping with Bereavement – National Health Services, UK
- After Death – The Stages of Grief – Information, Support, Practical advice Website (SevenPonds.com)
One of these may hold something that rings true to you. Help-lines, counsellors and grieving experts are also available to help you. As you find yourself in the utter incomprehension of loss you can find solace in the small everyday things. You can defy gravity by taking control over how you eat, drink and exercise. You can allow yourself to feel down one day, and up the next. You can go with everyone else’s flow and advice – but that often drags you more down than up.
Go against the grain instead. Defying gravity in this most difficult of life events can be to:
- Consider seeing a grief counsellor although that is not the ‘done thing’ in your circles;
- Take a holiday on your own to think, cry out load, and feel — although everyone tells you shouldn’t be alone now;
- Ask for help when your brain is telling you not to;
- Make some changes for yourself, in celebration and perhaps thanks to the loved one that passed. Eating healthily, exercising, reading and thinking helps you to feel, deal and heal.
Everyone’s experience is individual — just as lives are different from one person to another. There is no pattern, or road you can follow. There is no recipe, drug or advice that will come naturally to you at first. Eventually – you will go on. Survive. You will even be somehow empowered by this very sad event. You will never forget, and always cherish your loved one. You will always have your loved one as a guiding star. You will pass through stages of morning. You will have come out on the other side, and find things within yourself you did not think possible – or even dared to face before.
Defying Gravity: Divorce
Divorce is the end of relationship. Whether you were married or not, a partnership has come to an end. This is oh! so scary, so new, and for many linked with loneliness, fear of future, and fear of ‘flying solo’ for the rest of their lives. You will go through an array of emotional ups and downs. The practical and administrative part is a nightmare on its own – but also perhaps liberating. You have to move on and into your feelings. Start to deal with the new reality, and take care of yourself and your health during a break-up.
You can find the Force by defying gravity. When you stand there on your own two feet, you realise you can start afresh. You hold the rule book. You do not need to consult or check with your partner. You can decide. You have a golden opportunity to leave what people around you call a ‘self-pity party’, and embark on a lifestyle change cruise instead.
Look at what will make you sparkle, shine and smile. Your interests can become your new career. You defy gravity by not allowing yourself to get pulled down into a perceived loneliness. The Force you find within you will be like the birth of a new star after an apocalyptic meltdown. New challenges, new friends, shedding of an old skin – you can become a New You.
Defying Gravity: Disease
If you get hard-hitting medical news, you will react with shock, confusion, sadness and wonder what to do. You will have a million questions, and ask yourself how much in your life will have to change. You will worry, get anxious and stressed by how this will affect you and your loved ones. You may get yourself into an even worse situation by isolating yourself, not asking the questions and playing internet doctor.
You can defy gravity and look at this as an opportunity to fight, and take control. Make changes where you can – and leap into making the best of a bad situation.
You will most likely have a Medical Doctor to give you advice, drugs and you must follow these. In most cases, such news is often coupled with ‘you need to think about your lifestyle!’. What, you say?!
You may have thought that you were just fine, and that the occasional gym session would make up for your beloved take-outs, Sunday roasts and McD trips? And – have you not been trying to quit smoking, drink less, and generally be ‘healthy’? You can defy gravity here, by really looking deep into what lifestyle change really is. That this is a whole 360 degree overhaul, that requires understanding, patience, and new habits all together.
You defy gravity by fighting back at your disease. You can keep it under a level of control, and thus you are more level-headed too. In some cases you can even beat ‘the monster’ by changing lifestyle. What is key to understand when looking at the medical side of lifestyle change, is that some diseases will be fed by or starved by what you give it in terms of nutrition, energy, mindfulness and exercise. At the end of this post you will find links that may be helpful to you. To take control where there seems to be none is hard, but you can. You can make a difference for you – and defy gravity in the process.
Defying Gravity: May the Force be with you
- Prevention chronic disease and lifestyle change – National Centre for Biotechnology Information, U.S. National Library of Medicine
- Healthy Eating – What is that? – WebMD
- Medical Reference Guide – Lifestyle advice, information – University of Maryland
- How to make positive lifestyle change when living with Cancer – Cancer.net
- How to cope with Divorce – Helpline.org
- Surviving Divorce and Relationship Breakup – Survive Divorce Website
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